Post Surgery Sex. Taking The Good With The Bad.

5weeks, -40lbs.

Let’s talk about sex bae-be, let’s talk about…how changes in your body may effect your sexy times.  Heads up, if we are related or we work together you may want to stop reading this NOW!!!


I’m a sexual being, I love the intimacy and connection that my partner and I share during naked times but right before my gastric-bypass weight-loss surgery I started freaking out about how major weight-loss might  change that for us.  Well, at one month out one thing is clear, there certainly are changes but they aren’t exactly what I thought they would be.

The Good

You feel good about yourself.   Maybe not all the time, you definitely still have days when you wish progress was faster, when you still feel fat and gross or when you don’t like the way you look naked but I also feel like a total “Boss Babe”.   Sure, I let my weight get out of hand but now I’ve got a plan, I’m sticking to it and I’ve got this, so there’s a lot of confidence that comes with that.  Second awesome thing you’ll notice is even at just 40lbs down, we “fit” better!  It might be the combo of us both losing weight right now, my boyfriend in an act of solidarity has also been counting his calories using  My Fitness Pal on his phone.  He doesn’t have very far to go and he’s already lost about 20lbs since I started my journey.  The worst part, he still eats about 2400cal a day compared to my 6-800cal which is more proof that life’s just not fair ladies!  So -60lbs between the two of us and I already notice a difference in the “effectiveness” of certain positions.  It makes sense that with smaller bellies and my butt getting smaller too, thing feel deeper, closer and more intimate.  Also stamina!  My wrists and knees are not great because of my arthritis but I already notice a huge difference in how comfortable being “on-top” is. (If you are uncomfortable reading this, you only have yourself to blame, you were warned!)

The Bad

OMG I’m like the Sahara Desert!!!  When I was freaking out about our sex life changing before surgery, my biggest concerns were how my body would look different and if my partner would still find me sexy, I never expected my own arousal to be the issue.  The truth is that quick and/or major weight loss can play havoc on your hormones because they are stored in fat cells and as you burn fat, they are released into you body. This can cause irregular periods in women, increased or decreased sexual appetite as well as changes in hair and skin like adult onset acne, fun!  The major change I noticed after surgery was that I had little to no natural lubrication.  Even if I seemed like everything was good to go, after a short amount of play, gone.  I’ll be honest I found it really distracting and embarrassing at first and it made me feel a bit inadequate because being dry is something that hasn’t happened to me before.  It can seem a little unromantic  grabbing a bottle of lube from the bedside table especially when everything starts out spontaneously or maybe not in the bedroom.  I would rather give in and keep going than get down about it.     My guess is that it’s a combo of dehydration since you are struggling to get your fluids in at first combined with the hormone change.  I also found I was having a harder time “getting there” for the first few weeks which also had never been an issue in the past.  Since my partner lives an hr away we only manage to get together on weekends most of the time which adds a bit of pressure to making sure we are both satisfied heading into the next week,  I’m not sure how much of my orgasm issue was because I was too busy being hard on myself for the dryness or just a hormonal thing.  The good news is that it seems to be temporary because the last couple attempts have been way-way better.  So there you have it, my experiences with sex after Weight-Loss Surgery.

Have you experienced any changes, were they completely different than mine?  Feel free to comment!


  1. Hello Sahara, I like to call myself the Grand Canyon ( very dry plus have had 4 kids, you get the picture). I am 4 yrs post op and experienced pretty much the same thing. Our bodies definitely are dehydrated plus the change in our hormones does cause some havoc. I will say it does settle down and things ‘slide’ into place much more normally. Now I am also 50 now so that’s a whole other sex discussion. Keep up the great work warrior!


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